Why Your Fear of Sounding “Salesy” Could Be Costing You Listings

Have you ever lost a listing and thought: “What just happened?”

Maybe you had a great conversation with the seller. You showed up prepared with local market data, answered all of their questions, and reassured their fears. It felt like the two of you were clicking on all cylinders.

Yet for some reason, your friendly follow-up email went unanswered. And then, several weeks later, you were scrolling your feed when you saw it:

A “Just Listed” post…and it’s not your sign in the yard.

It’s a deflating feeling when opportunity slips through your fingers, and it’s natural to wonder:

Why didn’t they sign with you?

What did you do wrong?

Should you have said something different?

Did they just not like you?

WHY?

The Truth About Why You Lost That Listing

Most of the time, when you lose a listing like this, it’s not because the seller didn’t like you, it’s not because you said the wrong thing, and it’s not because they thought you were a “bad” agent.

It’s because you weren’t top of mind when it mattered.

Real estate is a timing game. People make the decision to sell (or buy) when they’re ready—not when you want them to be. And if you’re not showing up in that key moment, someone else will.

So how do you stay top of mind when the timing is out of your control?

The answer is simple: follow up consistently and keep the conversation going.

This is surprisingly tough for many agents, though. Not because they don’t care…but because they’re afraid of coming across as pushy or salesy.

We ran a survey to KCM members to ask about the hardest part of starting conversations with leads. The #1 problem was clear:

This is perfectly understandable. No one wants to be that pushy agent who annoys their entire network. So instead, many agents quietly step back and tell themselves:

If they need me, they’ll reach out.

But there’s a flaw in that logic. Because the truth is that if you don’t reach out to those leads—someone else will.

And guess who’s getting that listing?

But here’s some good news: it’s not about if you reach out…it’s about how.

When you come from a place of service, not sales, you don’t sound pushy. You sound helpful.

And here’s the truth: you ARE helpful!

Your clients are navigating one of the biggest financial decisions of their lives. They need someone they can trust. Someone who can guide them.

They need you.

So don’t hide your expertise—share it. And when you do, something amazing starts to happen.

Old contacts re-engage. “Cold” leads magically begin to warm back up.

And that list of people you thought were long gone? Turns out you had a gold mine in your pocket all this time.

How Many Deals Are Hiding in Your Database?

If you’ve been in this business for any length of time, then you’ve already got a long list of names, emails, and phone numbers from past and potential clients that are gathering virtual dust on your phone.

And that’s a shame, because these people are quite simply the best source of leads you have.

After all, they already know and trust you. You’ve already established contact. So why wouldn’t you want to keep in touch with your best leads?

Think of that list like a garden. If you neglect it, AKA if you never reach out to your list again, it will slowly wither and dry out. On the other hand, you’d be surprised at how much you can grow from those seeds if you tend them with care.

That doesn’t mean you have to constantly ask for business. It just means staying top of mind with relevant, helpful information.

Using this approach, a single well-timed reminder could easily turn into a $10k+ commission.

And the real money gets made when you’re not relying on single reminders, but rather using an entire system of smart follow-ups all designed to nurture new contacts into clients.

The System That Turns Your Database Into Deals

So, how do you do it? How do you continue to follow up, again and again over time, all while coming across as relevant and helpful and not pushy or salesy?

Get our step-by-step guide with KCM Playbooks.

This playbook is your guide to having meaningful, non-salesy conversations that keep you top of mind with the people who matter most—so you can turn more trusted relationships into closed deals.

You’ll get a simple daily action plan with plug-and-play texts, emails, and call scripts that get responses…

Plus, you’ll learn exactly what to talk about once that conversation happens.

It’s all shared in a super-clear way that makes it easy to understand what message to send, and when. Here’s a quick snippet with the details blurred out to give you an idea of just how user-friendly this playbook is: